I almost died today.
As we approached the intersection I looked up and I saw my death coming at me. It was a large box truck. I quickly calculated that at its rate of speed eastbound on Park and at our rate of speed southbound on Broad, there was going to be collision. The box truck was going to strike our ambulance on the front passenger door (where I sat). I was going to get pulverized — my bones smashed to dust.
As we hurtled toward my death I saw my baby at home that morning in her swing looking up smiling at the little birdies chirping on the mobile that went round and round. I looked at that oncoming truck and saw that is was still coming and not slowing nearly enough. There was no chance that it would stop until after it had snowplowed us.
I started screaming. It began with “Lookout!” I have no idea what else it included (likely profanities mixed with just plain scared I don’t want to die guttural exclamations). My shouting did not stop until we stopped and the big truck roared on past.
If the truck driver saw us or made an attempt to stop at all, I do not know. I have no idea who had the light. I really wasn’t paying attention to anything other than suddenly recognizing that we needed to decelerate. It wasn’t important in that moment that we stop before our nose crossed onto Park Street, because that clearly wasn’t going to happen. We just had to stop before reaching the lane the truck was in. I don’t think the truck driver even saw us coming. If he did, he must have known he wasn’t going to be able to stop.
This was a serious incident. This was no routine, boy, we almost had an accident. This was my death.
I don’t know if my partner would have stopped on his own if I hadn’t shouted. Maybe. Maybe he had it all under control and was already getting ready to hit the brakes.
I don’t know. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I was like one of those old guys who shouts incoming! and tucks while everyone else at the nursing home is peacefully enjoying the snap crackle pop of their morning Rice Crispies. Maybe it was all a sort of daydream nightmare. But it was awful real.
Someone blew the light. The truck or the ambulance? I don’t know. Who was wrong doesn’t matter to me right now. My partner and I didn’t talk about it. One of us might have said “Where did he come from?” Or “That was close.” Or “I thought he was going to stop.” I don’t remember clearly. And we didn’t dwell on it. I did not feel like talking. And we were, after all, still on a call. I couldn’t get out and light a cigarette with shaking hands (I don’t smoke) or stagger into a Park Street bar and order six bourbons and six beers. We had a job to do. So we carried on like nothing had happened. Priority one. Difficulty breathing. We had blocks to go before we could stop.
We were on a complete cross town response. We were going from the north end to the south end into the territory of another company whose cars were all tied up. I don’t know who passed the call to us – the other company or the police. But when we got to the address the first thing I noticed was there was no fire engine out front. What that told me was the fire department wasn’t dispatched because it probably wasn’t a serious enough emergency for them to be bothered. They aren’t dispatched to all calls. They don’t go to routine sick calls. But they are dispatched to difficulty breathing calls. So why weren’t they there? Maybe it wasn’t really a priority one call? If they are not dispatched, and we are sent priority one, when we walk in, it is almost always bullshit. Somebody knew something about the call that we didn’t because the fire department wasn’t deemed necessary to respond. Someone wasn’t sharing information. They just said fuck it, coded it for us as difficulty breathing and put us in the line of fire — in the path of that oncoming truck.
When we walked into that building and down the hall into apartment number three, we found an old guy sitting by the window smoking a cigarette. The story was he had terminal cancer and the home aide who stopped by earlier discovered he was taking 3 morphine pills three times a day, instead of three morphine pills in a day(one morphine pill three times a day). He was taking nine pills instead of three, but he had no complaints and he wasn’t having a hard time breathing. He wasn’t even slightly altered. He was just an old guy with cancer sitting by the window having a smoke. God bless him. They just wanted him checked to see if taking the extra medicine was harming him. We walked him out to the ambulance.
Afterwards, I wanted to pick up the phone at the hospital and call dispatch and say “Hey, who took that call? This is me calling from the grave. I died on Park Street today and I want to know WHY I was sent lights and sirens and the fire department was not dispatched. I want it known that I died for BS. I was killed for BS. I want it known! I want an investigation that will change the way ambulances are dispatched in this city, in this state and in this country. I want it known!”
Click on this web site:
Every day EMS people die on our streets. How many of those people die for BS?
I’m all for safe driving practices and I am not pointing my finger at my partner because I wasn’t paying attention and when I did, I was too scared to see anything or know anything other than the big box truck was coming too fast. It wasn’t going to be able to stop. And if a miracle didn’t stop us, I would be dead. He’s coming. We’re not stopped. He’s still coming. We’re still moving. He’s still coming. We’re still moving. We may be slowing, but we’re still moving and he may be slowing, but he isn’t going to be able to stop. We’re the only ones who can avoid this. Please Stop!!!! Not just slow, but STOP! Stop completely before we cross the center line and I am knocked into the great void.
Like I said, I am all for safe driving practices, including coming to a full and complete stop at all intersections whether the light is red or green. But having that policy doesn’t take away from the fact that driving lights and sirens is inherently dangerous and it is so soo unnecessary just about all of the time.
I was going to take another shift tomorrow. Frankly, with just one of us working right now with the baby still so new, we need the cash. But after that incident, I said forget it. I told myself tonight I’m going to go home, I’m going to walk right into the kitchen and open up the refrigerator door and take out the one cold bottle of Red Stripe I have in the house. I am going to pop the top and then down it – guzzle it empty in one long I am alive chug. And then I’ll go back to the bedroom, change out of my working clothes, take a shower, put on some jeans and a clean t-shirt, come back, fix everyone dinner, and then later I am going to sit on the couch and hold my little daughter in my arms, and talk to her in our own little father daughter language and never raise my voice above a whisper.
Maybe tomorrow, we’ll go to the park. It’s supposed to be a nice day.
Saturday I’ll be back at work. The sad thing is that a week from now I am going to post that ambulance crash web site again and there will be at least one new story about an ambulance crashing and one of us dying or being badly hurt. One of us will sit there helpless as death hurtles toward us, only we won’t be able to stop, and we’ll know it, and then there will be the impact. A young life will come to an end.
Be safe out there.
My heart goes out to you both! I haven’t exactly been in a rig in your position but commuted to a medical office jobs surrounded by hospitals, offices etc for several years and have had to hit the ditch, etc because of other idiots not heeding the EMS rigs- but I know how my heart pounded just trying to get out of the way due to someone else’s carelessness. Its a scary deal bigtime- take care-
“We had blocks to go before we could stop”and miles to go before you sleep…..”"i am thankful for your safety and the face you bring to the idea that it could happen to any of us and the families we leave behind….there may not be fires, no bullets, but we are out there……
Why would you stop at an intersection where you had a green light?
We are required to come to a full and complete stop at all stop signs and intersection lights, red or green(when running lights and sirens).At first I thought it was stupid, but the number of times I have been spared being creamed by cars(or trucks) blowing lights has convinced me of its merits. I would prefer some discretion to make it a rolling stop(which some people do anyway), long enough to clear the view. (Sometimes when we stop, other traffic starts).Our ambulances in the city have the black box technology that will either save you or fry you if you are in an accident. They will be able to tell the speed you approached an interesection and whether or not you came to a complete stop.Another point to remember is ambulances are basically flying death traps in the rear compartment. They provide no safety in event of a crash. The seats and belts in the back are not designed like the front seats. They are as likely to cut you in half as they are to save your life. The patients and techs in the back are extremely vulnerable to any kind of accident, even sudden stops without impact.Thanks for the comments.
Ugh-been there, done that. My BF was in the back with a pt and her partner when the vfd driver had a seizure and blew an intersection driving emergency. Damn near killed all of them. Have you been able to pry the seat out of your cheeks yet? Poor thing.
Same thing happened at my ambulance company to another crew, except they <>were<> hit in the intersection. The call they were going to: arthritic knee pain that was received as arthritic knee pain but coded as unknown medical. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt, but it did change company dispatch policy.I’m glad you and your partner came out of this in one piece. Too many responders die in near-preventable car accidents. Stay safe.- Medix311
I may be incorrect on our policy as far as green lights. I guess it was clarified to slow and exercise extreme caution when going through intersections, but does not require a complete stop when the light is green.
“The story was he had terminal cancer and the home aide who stopped by earlier discovered he was taking 3 morphine pills three times a day, instead of three morphine pills in a day(one morphine pill three times a day). He was taking nine pills instead of three, but he had no complaints and he wasn’t having a hard time breathing. He wasn’t even slightly altered.”Sounds like a future problem. He is going through his morphine much faster than the prescription allows for. What happens when he needs more? The nurse, the one who called this in as respiratory distress in the absence of respiratory distress, is probably going to be saying “I told you so,” and making refills difficult for him. His doctor is an unknown in this, but does not seem to have written a prescription for an adequate dose for this patient.As far as the driving, I completely agree about the 5 – 10 MPH rolling stop being safer than the full stop. The full stop tells everyone else to start driving again – this is not safe.I am very glad the outcome was not a collision. Kids are a great antidote for stress.
Why call out a fire truck for a medical emergency?
In one of the towns I work, the fire department is the certified first responder. They send an engine to all priority medical calls. In some cases it is helpful having so many helping hands, in others it is overkill. My point in this story was we were dispatched on a priority, but the fire department wasn’t dispatched at all, which meant that the dispatchers knew it was not a priority call so we should not have been sent lights and sirens.Thanks for the question,PC